How 2 Write a Best-Seller in 11 Easy Paragraphs

By Wade as told to Lynne.

Once upon a time there was a guy or a girl.

Something happens to him or her.

He or she reacts to what happened.

His or her reaction causes other things to happen and the character, in turn, reacts to what happened.

Eventually, the series of ongoing events and reactions leads to a conclusion.

This is what authors call a book.

You have to fill with lots of dialogue, for example: Wade looked out the window and said, “What a snazzy car.”

You have to make the events interesting, for example: “As Wade talked to his sister on the phone, he was changing the baby.”

This confirmed him in his sister’s mind as SUPERDAD.

Then, Wade revealed he did not understand what was happening in the California gubernatorial race; in fact, Wade had never seen any gubernatorials, and doubted that watching them race would be as good as watching the chuck wagons race at the world famous Calgary Stampede.

If you can master these simple skills, you too can be a world famous author.

Maybe not on this world but certainly in a world of your own devising. Where the sky can be blue or purple, notice sentence fragment. Avoid the sentence fragment if possible, why doncha’?

Overheard as SUPERDAD speaks to SUPERCHILD, playing a tactical board game involving elves and orcs.

SUPERDAD: Those elves haven’t done a darn thing. Put ‘em on a boat in the harbor.

SUPERCHILD: (mumble)

SUPERDAD: Have you denuded the entire map of trees?

SUPERCHILD: (mumble)

SUPERDAD: How’d it go?

SUPERCHILD: Not too good. I’m gonna go watch TV.

SUPERDAD: Our first task force wiped out but that could happen to anybody.

THE END